Trusting the Process: We are the clay and God is the Potter

Have you ever gone through a tough season that has broken you down? Was it scary? were you unsure of the outcome because what you saw in front of you was a mess and not a masterpiece yet? then I think we can talk stories today.  In this episode, I talk about the challenges that I have been facing in my marriage and how God was showing me that I needed to trust him to break down that which was not satisfying to him and rebuild something better.  Buckle up because we're going way back to the beginning and sharing those spaces that for me are some of the hardest things to admit on my show, but I believe it's a conversation that needs to happen for a lot of local women like me.   

The Flow of the Show

Main:  Breaking and Rebuilding

• Breaking it down and starting again
  • Jeremiah 18:1-6
  • my marriage 
• What we do during the breaking part matters
  • Jeremiah 18:7-10
  • turning from our sin
• Making things new, making a way through
  • Isaiah 43:19 
  • inwardly & outwardly
• Final thoughts: Do we trust God
  • Do we trust that God is the potter and we are the clay
  • I love how God can take us where we are, break us down, and rebuild us to something new. 

Scriptures

• Jeremiah 18:1-6: The Lord gave another message to Jeremiah.  He said, "Go down to the potterʻs shop, and I will speak to you there." so I did as he told me and found the potter working at his wheel.  but the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over.  Then the Lord gave me this message. "O Israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay? As the clay is in the potterʻs hand so are you in my hand." 
• Jeremiah 18:7-10:  If I announce that a certain nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down, and destroyed, but then that nation renounces its evil ways, I will not destroy it as I had planned.  And if I announce that I will plant and build up a certain nation or kingdom, but then the nation turns to evil and refuses to obey me, I will not bless it as I said I would. 
• Isaiah 43:19: For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. 

Mahalo for joining me today!
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supporting biblical resources

• You Version bible website:https://www.bible.com/
• Topical bible verse search: https://www.openbible.info/topics/

As always thank you for being here with me on Faith In Between, My name is Uilani Kumhone and I will connect with you on the next one.

Bye!!

Chapters

• 0:00 Faith in Between Podcast
• 11:52 Marriage Communication Struggles
• 19:48 The Power of Marriage Restoration
• 30:58 Transformation Through Faith and Love
• 42:41 Connecting Through Faith and Love

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Aloha, guys, and what's up. Welcome to the Faith in Between podcast. My name is Uyilani Kumohone and this is my show. Thank you, guys, so much for stopping by. When God first had called me to podcasting, I didn't really know why until I tried searching for podcasts that I could connect with. I wanted to connect spiritually and I also wanted to connect on a local level, but I really couldn't find one. And so, out of that birth, faith in between, and so you know, I just want to bring encouragement and faith to local women in Hawaii who are just like me, who struggle like me, who enjoy like me, who knows what it's like to live in this life. Right, but you don't necessarily have to be local to be here, but if you are, then let's talk stories about life, about faith and about everything in between. Hey guys, what's up? And welcome back to Faith in Between, the faith-filled podcast for local women in Hawaii. I'm Uilene Kumohone, your forever host here on the show. Thank you again for being here with me this week.

Speaker 1: 1:12

I have such a good episode coming up, but before we jump right into it, let's get some logistics out of the way. First of all, all of us mommies out there, if it's you, raise your hand. I know you're just sitting in front of your computer or your radio driving or something, but raise your hand if that's you, because you are a soldier. Okay, all of these kids are starting back up school and it has just been a train wreck of a week. I'm going to be so honest with you guys. Like train wreck of a week. My youngest started kindergarten this week and I so enjoy.

Speaker 1: 1:53

You know the transition phases. You know letting them do half days of school and picking them up early and you know just letting them get the taste of things to get their feet wet before they jump into kindergarten. Just letting them get the taste of things to get their feet wet before they jump into kindergarten Love that. But oh my gosh, that mixed with four other children who are not in a transition stage, who are just like in school now, it was crazy. But you know God really helped me through that part and he really had to keep me going and keep me sane this past two weeks because it has been a crazy, crazy ride for me and my kids. But I'm happy, you know they're back in school and you know what, like some moms I know are out there. Like you know, I'm so happy they're back in school and I'm kind of like on the fence about it because I'm like I kind of do like them back in school because I get to, you know, have time to myself now, but now I have to drive twice as much again, like I have to go and drop off and pick up and do all the things. But I guess you know they're learning, they're getting their knowledge and their education on, so that's such a good thing.

Speaker 1: 2:56

But I just wanted to give you guys encouragement and let you guys know that it's not just you, girl. I've also had the most hectic and crazy two weeks that we have since we last talked to each other. So it's not just you, it's everybody. Everybody who has kids right now going back to the DOE is crazy. So I just wanted to say before we even start our episode, just to give us a little pre-show chatter here, that you are a soldier and that you are going to make it to the end of the school year. Lord, help us, okay. And if you're like me, if you have more than two or three kids yep, I have five kids, like girl, we are gonna make it all right, just keep coming back. We'll make it. I promise you that.

Speaker 1: 3:38

But yeah, today I have such a good episode to talk about. I mean, like guys, this episode actually came about because I actually tried to record this episode earlier and I was talking and talking and as I was talking I was kind of saying what I wanted to say, but then there was a deeper message in there and by the end of it, god was like you're rewriting this whole thing because that's what you're actually supposed to be talking about and you know what. And as I was driving to go pick up my kids because I had to, like stop mid script and go pick up my kids, as I was driving, I felt, holy spirit, just tell me, like girl, like you have to do that, like you have to talk to god before you do the actual thing. Because, just like with my right, like my sabbath episode, that I did that little extra episode that I did the very first, when I very first um pushed out my episode. It was about sabbath and how, when I got on my mic and when I talked to god is when things start flowing, and that's how that came about. And so when I did it again, I felt so natural when I was talking about and I knew god was like that's your topic, girl, not this. I mean it was. It is very similar, but I wasn't getting what I wanted to talk about Until after that first recording and then this recording is happening now, so I just had to listen to God and I had to trust Him.

Speaker 1: 4:59

Right, that's what we talked about in our last episode Faith, having faith. Our faith is so important in this journey. It can't happen without faith, and that's why I have this podcast to give you, bring you guys, help you guys, strengthen your faith in between what we're dealing with, because we always seem to be in this in-between season of coming out of something, entering something new, right. So that's where that whole thing came from, and I talk a lot about that in my last episode. Go and check that one out, because it's a part of a three part episode series that I did on this faith, discouragement and fear and how they all kind of go hand in hand. So that was the first three episodes that we just encountered on faith in between. This one is now starting a whole new thing, but of course, we're still going on this trail of faith, and so it's so good.

Speaker 1: 5:49

So the first thing that just came to my heart when I was talking about this was breaking it, breaking things down and starting again. Breaking you down, breaking me down and starting again, because this is where God had really brought this whole message together for me. So Jeremiah 18, 1, verse 6. Yes, girl, we're coming out with a strong start. We are going to bring, we're going to bring the word of God into this right off the bat, because we need it. Jeremiah 18, 1, 6. And I stumbled across this because in my previous script I was looking for scriptures that kind of pertain to this, and Jeremiah 18 came up and I ended up reading the whole chapter and I was like, oh my gosh, this is so good. And so when I finished that first recording, god really sorted this out for me to make it this way and it's going to be great. You guys got to listen to this, okay. So Jeremiah 18, 1 through 6. Really sorted this out for me to make it this way and it's going to be great. You guys got to listen to this, okay. So Jeremiah 18, one through six. I'm going to read the whole thing first.

Speaker 1: 6:48

So it says the Lord gave another message to Jeremiah. He said go down to the potter's shop and I will speak to you there. So I did as he told me and found the potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. Then the lord gave me this message oh israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand. And and oh my gosh, like guys, this story was such a beautiful story for me because it's just.

Speaker 1: 7:30

It's God speaking directly to Jeremiah, showing him in a physical way what he's about to do, showing Jeremiah in a tangible way that this is how I work and this is what it looks like, because, some right, we all get spoken to Christ in a different way. We all hear Christ in a different way. So if you feel like I'm not hearing God, like physically hearing God, it's crazy, because Jeremiah, yes, he's hearing God, but you guys, he's also hearing God through seeing something in front of him, and that's how I kind of am with God. I don't physically hear God in my ear telling me word for word something. I see, things in my life and I experience, and I encounter things in my life and then God sits me down and he's like this is what I'm teaching you.

Speaker 1: 8:20

So if you feel like your, you know, walk with christ is kind of shaky because you can't really hear him, or like you physically don't know what his voice sounds like, it's all right, girl, maybe it's not a physical voice, maybe it's something else, maybe it's, maybe it's like what you read, maybe it's um conversation. Like me too, I I'm a conversation person and I get a lot of what god is trying to talk to me about with conversation with other people. So it could be many different things. And so I love this, because Jeremiah is seeing and he's also hearing. Right, christ tell him these things.

Speaker 1: 9:00

And so this is going to be a really crazy one, because I'm going to talk about my marriage and I am so scared because I haven't talked about my marriage on my podcast, like really, really honed in on my marriage, and this is going to specifically be about marriage and about my marriage. To show an example, right, not just to hear God's voice, but to show you what God's voice really was for me and how. Maybe that can translate for you, and I don't know if there's someone out there right now who's listening to this, who is struggling with their marriage right now, and you and your husband are just kind of dealing with some stuff that just feels like it's not working. I hope that this message, or I hope that this episode, can really bring you some encouragement, because, yes, you will find very quickly that I was there in this and this is not that long ago that I'm talking about all of this. This timeline is like within the last year, so even within the last couple of months, all a lot of these things have happened, and so I just want to encourage you. If that is, you keep listening, because I think that this will be a great episode for you. But, yes, nonetheless, I'm very private with my marriage, because my husband is very private with our marriage and I get that Like I understand that completely that he doesn't like to share a lot of things within our marriage. But I feel like this thing is something that God has been working with me on for almost a year now and we're finally starting to see the other side of that, and I'm so excited that that time is now, because I've been waiting for this time for so long. I've been praying for it. So I just feel like when I was talking in my last not shown recording of this particular episode, god had really honed me in on this story and of this journey with me and my husband. So I'm going to tell my story.

Speaker 1: 10:55

And so me and my husband we met. We were very traditional local people. We went to school together. We went to high school why not high school Represent? I'm just saying, if you live on the west side, waianae, see Riders all the way for life, okay, but we went to school together down in Waianae and we met like any other couple. Well, actually, okay, we really didn't, because this is a funny story that I actually didn't know. My husband even existed in my space when I was going to school. I was a senior, he was a junior, but he wasn't a kid to come to school a lot. So I and he was in, he, we were in the same class but different periods. So I was first or no, he was, yeah, something like that First, just saying, whatever it was, we always switched off and I never seen him. So I never really seen my husband around. Um, but one day my teacher? Well, we were, because I'm a part.

Speaker 1: 11:52

I was a part of a lot of hawaiian programs back in school, so I was helping with kaala farms at that time and I also was helping with um, the marine science program at the school, as well as the agriculture program, because I was a part of FFA, future Farmers of America, and so I was helping to do a backyard sustainability workshop for Ka'ala Farms for the agriculture department at Waianae High School and the marine science department at Waianae High School. And so I was getting ready for this thing and my teacher, who was also me, and her were gonna do a little presentation together. My marine science teacher um, she was building this board, um about vermicompost, composting, um, with worms, the worm vermicomposting, and so whatever, she's making the board and I seen this picture of this boy and I'm like who is that? I tell her, and because he had this big smile on his face and he's so handsome, and she's like, oh, that's that's you know, dot, dot, dot. And so I'm like my gosh, like he's really you know, he's really cute. Whatever, fast forward. My teacher ends up inviting him to this workshop. Um, he she asks me to, like you know, mentor him, walk him around, whatever, make sure he's, you know, comfortable doing whatever. So I do that all day.

Speaker 1: 13:13

Funny story I was supposed to go to prom with because at this time it was also prom. And I was supposed to go to prom with one of my friends but he, for whatever reasons, we didn't end up going together. And I had to find it because I told myself I was like I'm going to get a date for prom, I'm not going to go by myself. And so, lo and behold, here I am. Don't know where this courage is coming from, and I tap my husband on the shoulder and I'm like do you want to go to prom with me? And he's just like stunned, because this girl is asking him. He has no clue who I am. I don't know who he is, but whatever. And so the rest is history.

Speaker 1: 13:43

We go to prom, we end up dating, we date for all these years and we finally get married. We have well, we have kids, and then we get married, which is also a story in itself. But we started to learn very early on in our marriage that we are exactly like our parents, the baby boomers who raised us that tried their absolute best but also have so much trauma and so much um hurt from their past, from their parents, um, and they kind of that's all they really knew. So that's how they raised us and we grew to realize that we were just like them. And so now you see this, this battle between us because, like just in general, me growing up and his background is totally different.

Speaker 1: 14:29

He grew up like in the heart of Waianae. He moved around Ma'ili, waianae, makaha. He was like the Ma'ili boys, the Makaha boys. They were everywhere around this Ahupua'a and they just right, did their thing. That was what they did. They fished, they hunted, they did all this stuff. My husband loves the water, loves the ocean, all that stuff.

Speaker 1: 14:53

And then you have me. I live in what I live like right on the brink of waianae because we live right at the end of nanakuli. So we lived in princess kanu, right at the end of nanakuli, going into my ili. So we were from totally different sides of the tracks. My mom and them were from town, so all of the things that we did were in town. We never really hung out in white and I, but we went to school here, we lived here, um and so and we were very different. I'm hawaiian, japanese and he's hawaiian chinese, puertouerto, rican-puertugese, right? So there's so much different dynamics and if you live in Hawaii you know what I'm talking about. There is differences between us locals depending on your ethnicity, depending on your background, who raised you, all that stuff, right. And so me and him, we were just from different tracks.

Speaker 1: 15:42

And it's very true to say that opposites really do attract, because me and my husband are totally opposite, especially in how we love each other, how we communicate to each other, how we react to things, like we are very different. And so our family dynamic was struggling from the very beginning, because I am very vocal and vocal to an extent of like, of like, how I'm feeling and all this stuff. Sometimes it's weird, I'm very weird, but um, and he, where he's like, just very like quiet, and so, um, early on I could tell that our family dynamic was really struggling and I would pray all the time like Lord, please help me with my marriage, because I don't know, you know how to help, how to fix this, and right off the bat, like we already had three kids before we got married. Oh no, I'm going to tell the story. I'm going to, I'm going to be the. I'm going to be the goat here. I'm going to be the goat here.

Speaker 1: 16:43

So I didn't start a family traditionally or like you know, quote unquote, what they say you need to do to be a Christian and to have a family right, like get married first and then have kids and all that stuff, premarital sex we did it, that was it. Like I had three kids before we got married, but even that dad, my husband, didn't believe in marriage because his parents never got married and my parents were married and I always believed strongly in marriage and I knew Christ and so I really wanted that and for years and years we pushed, I pushed for it and it never happened. Um, and that is a story all in itself until eventually it did happen. And so you see, like we started, I started seeing like there was just this cycle that was happening with me and my husband and it was just that we only knew what we knew and we didn't know anything better. And the bottom line was that our communication, the root of the issue, is that our communication sucks. And it's funny because I love to speak right, I love I have a podcast, but for some reason, when I try and speak to my husband. I struggle so bad to tell him all how I feel, and that's because what I've seen growing up was that my mom also did the same thing. She, she had a hard time talking to my dad and it was, you know, really passive-aggressive. It was very, you know, like, oh, you should have known, was very, you know, like, oh, you should have known, you should have known what I was thinking Like all of these kind of toxic things that that that we get from our parents. That's basically what it was Right and it is between me and my husband, and so we just were.

Speaker 1: 18:22

We we have been struggling for for a really long time and just within this past year, we've had multiple challenges in our marriage where, like, we were on the brink of separation because I was so overwhelmed and I was so, like, tired and exhausted from my emotions and my and my you know my disappointment that every time we would argue and fight with each other, it it never got better. And this, I'm telling you this is like within the last year, like it's crazy because me, another thing about me and my husband is we barely fight, we don't like like full, full on beef with each other, because I can't. I don't like to do that, but in return, when we that turns into when we do fight, it's just so bad all the time and it was getting more frequent and more constant. We were fighting more and more and more over the littlest things. That would just irritate me and I would just be like done, but with me, because I'm not a very good communicator. I would be passive, aggressive to my husband and I would shut down when it comes to those sorts of things, because I didn't know how to tell my husband how I did. I didn't know how to be vulnerable to my husband, because growing up I always felt like I had to be the strong one, and I think a lot of local ladies will understand this right ladies Like we.

Speaker 1: 19:48

That's how we were raised when we were young. The girls were the ones who kept things running, who got things done. You know I'm not saying anything bad about the boys, because of course they have their own perception and what they have to deal with, as you know local boys in Hawaii. But I'm going to say honestly for the girls and a lot of girls in hawaii too, I can say this with full confidence that we were the ones who really had to push for all the things that we had to fight for it. We had to hold our families together and we, we held those burdens for so long and and if that is you, girl, I'm I'm with you because I felt the same way um, and our moms like Um, and our moms like, look at our moms, our moms are like super women, like they will get things. That I've seen women, I've seen women in my generation and in my mom's generation who will do anything for the family. You know what. They will get things done.

Speaker 1: 20:37

But sadly, it's also not in a. It's not in the right way sometimes. Sometimes it's very sneaky, sometimes it's very um, you know like, do whatever it takes and and forget about you know morals, like that kind of thing. It's it. It does get very ugly in that way, but yet they get things done right. And that's who we really relied on, our moms. And so here I am right, not trusting my husband, not trusting god, that that, that this is something that we can get through, because you know again, you know there's so much like, oh, I don't like this anymore, I'm gonna just drop it. Like, oh, I don't like, I don't like the look of this, I'm just gonna leave it. Like there's so much of that, I don't like my husband anymore. Um, he's not satisfying me, so I'm gonna go get that from. Like there's so much of that, I don't like my husband anymore, he's not satisfying me, so I'm going to go get that from somewhere else. There's so. Or vice versa. You know, I don't like my wife anymore and I want to get like vice versa. These things are happening and they're real, and there's a lot of that going on in our own community, right Like we all know this, and so I was like crying out to God, like Lord, why, like help me Within these last two times that we actually did fight, like those were the two times that I feel like God really changed our lives or really changed our marriage for the better, because we just like Jeremiah 18, 1 through 6, is talking about how the potter is.

Speaker 1: 22:02

You know he's not satisfied with what he's seeing and he's breaking it down and he's starting again. And this is what I believe God had did for me and my husband in these moments when we were challenging and and being challenged by one another and by the world and what the world standard of perfect marriage is and what a good marriage is, and we were getting beat down by all of this stuff and were struggling, like really really struggling, you know, between us. And so when these last two times came about, like I said, I feel like those were the two times that god really had moved us into a better direction. First, the first fight, maybe like three, oh, a month ago, I want to say like a month ago, it was for Danny To understand when I was coming from and apologize for that. And then this most recent one, like two weeks ago oh my god, like two weeks ago Was for me To understand where he was coming from and to apologize for the things that I wasn't seeing. And it was such a revelation for me to, for once, take responsibility for the things that I was doing.

Speaker 1: 23:17

Because, right, we are in a marriage and, yes, we do have a lot of emotions and we do have a lot of reasons to feel like we are the ones who's getting the short end of the stick. We do, as wives and as moms, we do hold a lot of stuff in and we do carry a lot of things for our family. I get that girl. I'm not saying that we don't, and I'm not saying that you're wrong or you're right. I'm just saying that, yes, you are that, that's how you do feel, that, yes, you are, that that's how you do feel. But we do have husbands who also have that burden that they have to carry for our families in their own way. Right, and this might not be for everybody, everybody's situation is different, but I'm saying, for, in general, I believe that it's both of us, and so this past one was for me to stop and listen to my husband and understand where he was coming from and what he was saying, and apologize for those things that I wasn't seeing.

Speaker 1: 24:07

And so this was God breaking us down. Right, oh, israel, can I not do to you as this potter has done to his clay, as the clay is the potter's hand? So are you in my hands and and knowing that, looking back at it now, like that was god, like breaking us down to mere and and it's funny, right, the potter doesn't add anything, he doesn't get more clay and add to it. He doesn't take some clay away, notice, he just breaks it down and he rebuilds it from that same piece of clay. And, and this is what this is something I want to drive so strongly for us married women today in this generation.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Girl, I know it might seem like you're so, so struggling that you can't get back to loving your husband the way that you want to or the way that you used to, and vice versa. But adding or subtracting your husband, you know, to your husband, or addition to your marriage, or whatever you think it is that is better. It's not like God can use exactly what you have your marriage, your husband, you he can use that and rebuild that from the clay that he will break down. Okay, like this is so crazy, like I'm so on fire, we might go a lot over, but I think that you guys will like this, so I'm just going to keep going. And so, right, I'm ready, we're ready to throw in the towel, because this was the breaking point, this was the I can't handle this anymore. I can't go through this with this person anymore. I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1: 25:50

That's how close it was, that's how much he broke us down, right, but then the next part of that is what we did during that time of brokenness really mattered. So it wasn't that. Oh God did this and then, voila, the next day, everything was, everything was perfect. No, we had to stay like that and god had to build us right. Build doesn't mean snappy fingers and it's, it's set up. No, he has to take time to build us up again. He has to intentionally mold us right, like if we're thinking of a clay right we're thinking of, he needs to mold us to that, to that jar that he's wanting, that he's, that he's going to be satisfied with.

Speaker 1: 26:29

And so jeremiah 18, 7 through 10. So we're going to continue. So the first was jeremiah 18 1 through 6 and this one is jeremiah 18, 7 through 10. So we're just going to continue. And it says if I announce that a certain nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, but then the nation renounces its evil ways, I will not destroy it, as I had planned. And if I announce that I will plant and build up a certain nation or kingdom, but then that nation turns to evil and refuses to obey me, I will not bless it, as I said I would.

Speaker 1: 27:03

And so this is crazy, because what God is telling us and this is why I said this what we do in the broken parts matter. So if God is breaking me and my husband down and our relationship down. He's essentially asking us to change something. He wants us to work on something that needs to be worked on. He doesn't want us to continue to do the same thing. And so, for a long time, this is what was happening. We were fighting, and the same cycle continued Fighting, and the same cycle continued, but this time was different. I promise you guys that we were fighting, but we fought for something this time, and I and I think it's because I was fighting for something I was praying for this for so long like Lord, I don't know what else to do, and a lot of that is having faith that you're going to be obedient and that, even if the future looks scary for you, even if you know there is talk of of separation separation or there is some kind of insinuation of of something in your heart that you're afraid of you're gonna trust god, that that situation is gonna be okay, that that the clay is in the potter's hands, we are in his hands and he will rebuild that, or he will build that up to what it's gonna be.

Speaker 1: 28:22

But if we don't change from our ways, or if he gives us something and then we end up sinning and not, and you know, doing something wrong. He's going to take that. He's not going to do what he would, what he said he was going to do, because we're still not ready for that rebuild, we're not ready for that newness, because he can see that right. And so for years, me and my husband, we were not ready for it. But after this past two times I think we were ready for it because it has just been such a difference in our marriage. But that's because we finally sat down and actually talked to each other, actually communicated with each other, not yelled, not screamed, not tried to prove each other wrong, not tried to prove our point, not tried to prove that person, you know, hurt me more than I hurt him. None of that, like, we literally actually sat down and we got to talk and and I had to own up to the things that I was doing in my marriage that also was lacking or also was hurtful towards my husband and as much as he had to do that for me.

Speaker 1: 29:35

And so when I say marriage is a two-way, a two-way street, it is. It really, really is. And yes, I am talking about us in this situation as wives, because I'm the wife and so this is what I know, but it's not just about us. It's not just about us, because this whole thing is not just about us. It's about a bigger picture and it's about God's glory, and that's what we have to remember. And so so what he's saying in Jeremiah seven, 18, seven through 10 is that he can have said something. But if we aren't doing what we're supposed to be doing in that time of brokenness, then we're. If me and my husband just kept doing exactly what we're doing, then we weren't ready for it and he wasn't going to bring us to that, to, you know, to to build up again. And so you, I believe, like I keep saying that this last two times was the time that God really gave us that breakthrough, and you know, like it's been such a difference for me and him because we haven't. This is something new for us and that's what I love, right, like the fact that we are the same people. But it's this new thing is here because we decided to let go of all that old stuff and get rid of it and trust god that he was going to rebuild us.

Speaker 1: 30:58

Well, let me just make a disclaimer here. My husband is not a believer. He doesn't believe in christ the way that I believe in christ. He knows of christ, um, there's a lot of church hurt for him, and so just a lot of things in his life has brought him to this time. But I don't lose hope in my husband's salvation. I always pray for him and I always approach things in a Christ-centered way, even if he doesn't. So if your husband is also not a believer and you're listening to me and you're thinking well, at least you and your husband both believe.

Speaker 1: 31:31

I'm just here to say that my husband doesn't believe in Christ, and I'm not saying that as like oh you know, like showing it off, because I dearly, dearly wish that my husband did believe, but unfortunately he's not there yet. His journey with grace is still going and he's still evolving. But that's my part too, to help him get to that point. I have to be an example as much as I am to other people out there, to my own husband, to my own children, right? So don't get discouraged. If that's what your boat looks like right now, that you believe in your husband, it's okay, because God loves you, god loves him, and things are going to work out.

Speaker 1: 32:09

Look at where me and my husband is right now Breakthrough, and he doesn't even believe in Christ Change, and he doesn't even believe in Christ. All of these things are happening and he doesn't even believe in Christ the way that I do. But I'm not saying that I'm giving up. I know that one day my husband will believe in Christ and I'm just waiting for that day. However, that day comes. And so sorry, just side note there and we are going over. But that's okay. I think this is so great that we're going to keep on going.

Speaker 1: 32:33

So this is what God is searching for. This changes the things that you know, the communicating to me and my husband, between me and my husband, better, the attitude towards each other. That is not, you know, that annoyed attitude all the time, the not in competition with each other, but the. You know we are partners, we are a team together, and that's where God brought us to this new place that we're at Making things new, making a way for us. And so Isaiah 43, 19 says for I'm about to do something new. See, I have already begun, do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Guys, this scripture was so amazing in this time because I was like, yes, lord, like like he's telling me, like he's telling you, he's telling all of us, look, he's making something new. That can we not see it? We need to trust him that he's making that newness and that path for us. Right, he is making all these things new, and not just inwardly. This is the crazy thing. This is where all of this kind of unraveled so? So, yes, me and my husband are going through great things with our marriage, like we are. We are, you know, transforming and changing and we are getting better and for some reason, I think that kind of translates outward too.

Speaker 1: 34:01

So this past weekend, what we ended up doing was, out of off of a whim, um, we ended up painting our living room because my husband he's the kind of guy who's like, if he, he, if he does something, he's gonna do it like fully, like really good, he's a really great wrecker. And so he wanted to change out our curtain rods in our living room because they were like old already, and so when he took them off, he took them all down, he, um, you know, filled the pukas, sanded them down, and he just was staring at this blank space and our and our walls have been the same color since we moved in two years ago. So, and we've been talking about painting it for a long time but we never did um and, of course, like you can see all the scratches and all the um, just just the livingness of it, all you can see it. And so I think he kind of was just at a place where he's like yeah, I think we're ready to like paint. And so it wasn't like for sure, for sure, we were supposed to just like look at paint, but then we ended up actually painting and so we rearranged things in my living room. We took some things out, put some things in my room because my room is actually a second living room, my master bedroom, but we turned it into my master bedroom when we moved in, so it's just as big as my living room. So we took some things out, put some things in there and like it's so crazy, because now everything just feels so different in my home, like just adding paint and arranging things. We didn't add, we didn't like subtract anything and we didn't, like you know, make huge adjustments. We just did these little adjustments with what we had and the difference of how it feels is so great more of a piece in there that I'm just like loving because it's it's a place that I enjoy being in again.

Speaker 1: 35:52

You know, and I think that's the same with our marriage like before, where it was like certain things were like so dreading and like I didn't want to be a part of it at some point at some things. Now, with me and my husband, I'm like every little thing I want to be a part of with him again, like it's just such a newness to our relationship and then it's also translating outwardly to our home and I think that that's such a great thing, right, just like with the potter and God showing Jeremiah the potter physically breaking down the clay and then building it back up. This is my physical way of showing how God is working through. You know me and Danny spiritually and it's kind of unconsciously connecting with me and him and we're doing it together, like we painted the living room and the hallway together and like we had so much fun doing it and then after we just we just enjoyed it. It's such an amazing experience and I and I just like I want to tell you guys that, just to encourage you guys, like I'm not here to tell you guys all this stuff, so that way I can just tell you guys and like, oh, look at me, look at me. No, that's not what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to you guys with these things, that if you do the work in your secret place, in the place with Christ, praying and asking him, spending the time with him, these are the kind of results that you can get.

Speaker 1: 37:18

And I know it's not right away, it's not easy, because this took me what like five or six years to get to this point, because I needed to change a lot of things. Right, god needed to break me down first and then break my marriage down. But that all of that work and that's, like you know, the last three episodes I did on faith discouragement I mean fear, discouragement and faith those three episodes were kind of like that, leading up, those were the experiences that I had that God had to break me down through those, through those times, through the faith I mean through the fear, through the disobedience, and then coming out on faith. That was that journey. And now I'm here with my marriage and this is what he's doing in my marriage and I want to, you know, say all these things to encourage you guys that you guys can do it.

Speaker 1: 38:04

You guys are not far gone enough where god cannot change your marriage, where god cannot change your lives, because he absolutely can. But do we trust him enough to be the potter to know that our clay, the us, the clay that he has made, is in his hands and that he is rebuilding and that he can rebuild us and he can break us down to the point of total brokenness to build us back up to something that he is going to be satisfied with? And I think that you know, we all need to really take a look at that and really stand in that and be like deciding whether that's what we're going to do or not. Because, because at some point I had to decide that, like if I was just going to do that sorry, if I just was going to do that or not, and for a long time I wasn't, I wasn't doing it, but then finally I was like, no, there's nothing else that I can do, I'm going to do it and working, doing the hard stuff, you know, going in it afraid, cause I was afraid so much times that me and my husband weren't going to be together anymore.

Speaker 1: 39:06

I had to ask God all the time like Lord, I don't know what to do, but I don't want this, but you know, but being obedient, even though, and trusting that God wasn't going to let that happen God would never have let that happen, because he sees our potential even when we don't see it, and so him breaking us down is just what he needs to do in order to build us back up. And so, you know, my final thoughts on all of this is just do we trust God? Right? Do we trust God that he is the potter and that we are the clay, even if he breaks us down back to the very just clay that is, according to his will, to be rebuilt and become something brand new? Right, my marriage is the same person, I'm married to the same person, but my marriage is different. It's totally, it's a new marriage, it's a whole different marriage. You know myself, I'm the same, but I feel so different, right? And then my home it's the same house, same home, same living room, same bedroom, but it's different, it's new because we decided to break it all down and do what we had to do, right arrange, rearrange, clean, do all that stuff to make it a new space. And now it is, and it just.

Speaker 1: 40:22

It's just such an amazing thing to see that physical thing that has been happening spiritually and see that outwardly as well, just like jeremiah did with the potter, like it's such an amazing experience to have and I and I only pray that you guys have that same experience after this episode, listening to this and and finding it, because I'm sure you guys are going through it. You guys just gotta find it, and even me, I didn't realize what I was going through until right now, until this message, until god had spoken into me about it. This is the only reason why I know that, because I'm already here now. But if you're in the middle of that, that's what this is about. I'm bringing you faith in the middle of all of that, because that's where it is in between where you were and where you're going. That's where this podcast comes in. So I just thank you guys so much for tuning in today.

Speaker 1: 41:10

This was such a great episode and it's very special to me because it's one that I haven't done because of my own fears. But I believe that God had directed me to this message using mine and my husband's story, all of that to show that I'm very much just like you and I want to make sure that you know that and that you see that, so that you're able to sit with me here and enjoy and receive as much as I do. Right? So, with no judgment, no guilt, no shame, but just two friends talking stories, and I hope that this episode has blessed you or even challenged you to start getting in conversation with God, to start bringing these things that need to be refreshed in your life to happen, to let God break us down, whether it be for ourselves or for a relationship or whatever it may be at the time your job, anything else, your church break us down and trusting that he will rebuild us back up.

Speaker 1: 42:03

So, thank you, guys, again for tuning in today and if you are sticking around and enjoying our conversations, then I would really love for you to subscribe to faith in between so that we can always be connected, um, but if you're really, really enjoying it and you feel like sharing, I would love for you to write a review, because when you write a review, it actually helps other people find the podcast. It's more visible to other people, other women who might need this podcast just as much as me, and you need it. So, again, I can't tell you, guys, how blessed it is for me to be here on the weeks that I am here sharing with you guys, talking stories with you guys and just enjoying each other's company. But this was such a good episode and I can't wait to do this again.

Speaker 1: 42:41

Mahalo for tuning in and I'll see you guys in the next one. New episodes are posted every other week. If you would like to reference back to any scriptures or quotes that I mentioned in the episode, they will be all in the show notes section of the show. You can also find my handles to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. I post not only podcast related, but life related content as well. Mahalo for tuning in, ladies.